There are few things on the Internet more tiresome than the phrase ‘aspiring writer’.
Actually that’s not true – there are literally hundreds of things more annoying than that. But I’m not blogging about those today.
Continue reading “Open Letter to Aspiring Writers”
I thought I’d post some links to articles I’ve been reading recently that might be of interest. And look at this cool picture I found for you to illustrate the point, you lucky people! Please note: this has nothing to do with the fact I am too braindead to come up with a proper blog post of my own, and everything to do with the fact there’s a lot of interesting stuff kicking about on That Internet right now. You’re welcome.
Five Things For Readers
Five Things For Writers
Extra bonus thing
Look, a creature reading! And it’s all furry and cute, even if it is some kind of rodent. I found it on Pinterest, but the source seems to have been a google search – if you are this animal, let me know and I will give you a photo credit.
Happy holidays, everyone! I wrote you another story with the help of the Benedict Cumberbatch name generator. Hope you enjoy it.
Once Upon A Time there was a lad of eight years who went by the name of Bonaparte Cuckooclock.
He lived in a hollowed out tree in an enchanted forest, but he didn’t see anything unusual in that for it was the only life he had ever known – and a very fine life it was too, dining on cherry blossom and morning dew and never having to go to school.
Note to any younger readers: do not try to subsist on a diet of cherry blossom and morning dew. You’ll make yourself spectacularly unwell – Bonaparte was a character in a story, and as such his digestive tract was subject to the whims of the author. You are, one assumes, a human child and as such you need to eat heartier foodstuffs like jam sandwiches and pickled eggs and all those other lovely things children like to eat. Feel free to leave a list in the comments.
Continue reading “Merry Christmas, Bonaparte Cuckooclock”
Are you a poet or penner of short fiction? Have any of your poems or prose ever included aliens, time travel, jelly babies, or copious amounts of running? Then have I got the Open Mic Night for you!
Organised by my good friend Andrew Blair and the chaps behind Blind Poetics*, the truthfully titled ‘The Doctor Who Open Mic Night’ is coming to Edinburgh pub The Blind Poet on November 25th. Join performers Kevin Cadwallender, Tracey S. Rosenberg and Russell Jones as they celebrate the Fiftieth Anniversary of Doctor Who through spoken word. And as you do it, you can help raise money for The Lullaby Trust, an amazing charity that supports bereaved families.
Open mic slots are available if you want to perform – email drwhoopenmic@hotmail.com for further info – but the organisers would like to make it clear that you don’t have to perform 100% Doctor material: ‘anything even tangentially related, be it sci-fi, time travel, weeping angels, things-being-bigger-on-the-inside or Jon Pertwee, is totally cool.’
Meanwhile, if you just want to go and have a listen, that’s likely what I’m going to do. Unless I spend the next week finally committing that Ode to Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart I’ve been composing to paper… But I fear I’ve said too much. Anyway entry is free, although as discussed there is the option to donate to the Lullaby Trust (they are suggesting a very reasonable £2).
If you fancy coming along or know someone else whose cup of tea it is, please help spread the word – join the Facebook event, share this blog post, and generally make a lot of noise. Like Kevin Cadwallender might do:
Hope to see you there!
When: Monday 25th November, 7.30pm
Where: The Blind Poet, 32 West Nicholson Street, Edinburgh
*Those chaps are Roddy Shippin and Alec Beattie, and you can keep up with Blind Poetics, a monthly night of spoken word, on Facebook and Twitter.
It’s Tuesday, so it must be time for another short story inspired by the Benedict Cumberbatch name generator. In case you’re new to this idea, B. Cumberbatch (actor) has a silly name that inspired someone to devise a generator to create similarly silly names, and I thought I would use it to spark some story ideas. I’m posting them here in lieu of any more interesting or relevant content, for you to peruse or ignore at your discretion. First I told you of Timothy Clavichord, and last week it was Syphilis Crumplehorn. Today you can read about the unfortunate Wimbledon Commonwealth.
Continue reading “The Unfortunate Wandering Wimbledon”
Once Upon A Time there was a Benedict Cumberbatch name generator, and the names it generated were so good I decided to write a series of stories based on them. Last week I told the tale of The Incurious Timothy Clavichord, and today tis the saga of Syphilis Crumplehorn.
Continue reading “Syphilis And The Squid”
12 Books in 12 Months 