Someone at our antenatal class said they’d been experimenting with playing their baby different types of music to see how they reacted. They found there was one song that made the baby react really strongly so we thought we’d have a go at finding that sound for ours. Continue reading “Week 34 – Science”
Why must you be such a colossal arsepiece?
You recognise there is a full black ink cartridge in your belly, and yet you blast my attempts to print with an error message:
‘Uh, that cartridge is recycled. I’m not printing with that.’
Why not, you fussy sod? It’s not like I didn’t try to get brand cartridges, but there were none to be had because, dear printer, you’ve long since gone out of style. Quite frankly you were past it when I bought you, in a sale, at Tesco – nestled in amongst cheap kettles and cutlery for the student crowd heading to uni for the first time. EVEN BRAND NEW UNDERGRADS KNEW TO AVOID YOU, PRINTER. You ain’t all that.
‘Also,’ you press on, dear printer, oblivious to the anguish you are causing, ‘also, there’s nothing left in the colour cartridge. So, y’know. That’s a problem.’
Why, pray tell, is that such an issue for you? I am not trying to print in colour, printer. The text of my manuscript is black (arial size 12) and you’ve got a brand new black cartridge ready to deal with it if only you’d give recycling a go. And what is so wrong with reusing an old cartridge, exactly? Something something printer heads, foam and alignment… I call bullhockey. You’re probably one of those climate change denying printers, too. You probably think the weather’s super erratic these days because women have the right to vote now. YOU MAKE ME SICK.
I will not be wasting any more of my time looking for on brand cartridges, printer. You are obsolete, and I will shortly be sacrificing you to the gods of Freecycle or Gumtree with a strong recommendation that your future owner considers using you for parts.
PS If anybody wants a couple of recycled black ink cartridges for an HP 4200 series printer let me know, apparently I can’t use them.
A short while ago I was asked to test a new bookish app. Naturally the first thing I thought was ‘braw, there’s a series of blog posts in that!’ So, over the next few weeks I’ll be reviewing a few booky apps for tablets and smartphones – kicking off today with the newly released Edinburgh Book App from purpleTrails.
This is a bit of an experiment, as I have never used the reblog button before… Vote now!
Freya considered Jala’s prone form – there really was an astonishing amount of blood trickling out of the fu-shaped cut made by The Whore of Knives. Freya was under no illusion as to the identity of Jala’s assailant – The Whore was in all the most frightening legends and bedtime stories and he was described in detail – the matted bearskin, the knives at his waist, the mad, staring eyes. And she, Freya, had bested him in a fight! Well, she’d helped Jala to do it, at any rate. What a great story that would make – if only any of her people had been left alive to hear it.
She had been avoiding thinking about all that, but seeing Jala lying there brought it all back – the screams of anguish, their cold faces, her mother’s tears as she bundled her into the safest space she could think of.
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I had a few ideas for this, but then I forgot to do them sooo… Here is what I came up with for ‘illumination’ in my flat this evening! Click here to see posts from other persons.
‘There is nothing,’ she said, ‘as wondrous to me
As sitting with you, and a nice cup of tea!’
But when they broke up, a year or so after
Her booby trapped cup gave him hours of laughter.