I’ve had the same comment from three different ‘people’ today.  It goes like this:

Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. [ Gosh, really? Boy is my face red… ] On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. [ I can’t begin to describe how little I care. 12 books in 12 months is a writing experiment, not a statistic. ] So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article. [ buh? ] Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword. [ what, like this? ] There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information.

I am not linking to the aforementioned video, of course.  But thanks Kraig Vangorp, German Thurlow and Gabriele Vorhies for bringing my terrible SEO skills to my attention.  Your names will probably come in handy as characters someday.